Seinfeld: Season 5

Previous seasons

Episode 1: “The Mango” (65th episode overall)
- Original air date: September 16, 1993
- Plot: Elaine never had an orgasm with Jerry.
- Characters Introduced: Veralyn Jones as Renee
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Lisa Edelstein as Karen
- Recurring gags: “It moved!” “I’m back baby, I’m back!”
- Foods eaten: A flat Coke with no ice. A subpar peach. Chocolate ice cream. Mango that Kramer somehow managers to peel and cut in like 5 seconds.
- Kramer scheme: Having others buy fruit for him
- Nothings of interest: Kramer is banned from Joe’s fruit stand for returning bad fruit but in episode 2.1 “The Ex-Girlfriend” Kramer says Joe accepts returned fruit. Jerry’s green Klein bike has been replaced with a Canondale. The jar of Ragu on Jerry’s shelf reads ‘ƧAG’. Original title for this episode was “The Orgasm”.
- Significant others:
  -George: Karen
- Stand-up routines: 2
- Awards: Primetime Emmy award for Writing and Directing, DGA award, WGA award
- My grade: B

Episode 2: “The Puffy Shirt” (66th episode overall) Intended to be the third episode of the season.
- Original air date: September 23, 1993
- Plot: Jerry accidentally agrees to wear a puffy shirt on TV because the designer is a lowtalker. George becomes a hand model.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Bryant Gumbel as Himself, Deborah May as Elsa.
- Notable locations: The Today Show
- Recurring gags: “But I don’t want to be a [pirate]!” George reads a Glamour magazine.
- Foods eaten: Hot tea
- Nothings of interest: George moves back in with his parents. George has $714 in the bank. Jerry has a microwave now. George says no one eats baloney anymore but he had a baloney sandwich in episode 4.22 “The Pilot”. This episode confirms that George was the winner of “The Contest”. One of the only episodes without a scene at Monk’s.
- Significant others:
  -George: Photographer’s assistant
  –Kramer: Leslie
- Stand-up routines: 2
- Awards: Emmy for writing
- My grade: B

Episode 3: “The Glasses” (67th episode overall) Intended to be the 2nd episode of the season.
- Original air date: September 30, 1993
- Plot: George’s glasses are stolen from the gym. Elaine is bit by a dog.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Anna Gunn as Amy, Rance Howard (Ron Howard’s father) as Blind Man, Tim Stack as Dwayne
- Recurring gags: Cousin Jeffrey. Bob Sacamano. Kramer is called a “hipster doofus” again.
- Foods eaten: An onion. A pretzel. An orange. A sandwich.
- Kramer scheme: Kramer claims mentioning his name at J&T Optical will get you 30% off frames.
- Nothings of interest: Jerry hates air conditioning. The first time they show J&T Optical it is displayed on the awning, every other time it’s 51st Street Optical but obscured by a tree. The Commando 8 has 12,000 BTUs. Somehow Jerry has the number of the cable company memorized? Jerry has two open gallons of OJ in his fridge along with a 2L of heavy whipping cream. First episode with Jerry Still as Frank.
- Significant others:
  –Jerry: Amy
- Death Watch: Almost the dog
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: A for Elaine’s rabies scare.

Episode 4: “The Sniffing Accountant” (68th episode overall)
- Original air date: October 7, 1993
- Plot: Jerry thinks his accountant is a coke addict.
- Characters Introduced: Richard Fancy as Lippman,
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: John Kapelos as Barry, Christa Miller as Ellen, Marty Rackham as Jake Jarmel, Patrick Cronin as Sid Farkus, Patrika Darbo as “woman at mailbox”/Glenda
- Recurring gags: George reads a Glamour magazine.
- Foods eaten: Meatloaf with ketchup. Chocolate ice cream out of the tub. Mushroom pizza. A strawberry milkshake.
- Kramer’s mooched items: Jerry’s giant sweater.
- Kramer scheme: Pretending to be a drug dealer.
- Nothings of interest: The Canondale is gone and the Klein is back.
- Significant others:
  -Elaine: Jake Jarmel
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: B-

Episode 5: “The Bris” (69th episode overall)
- Original air date: October 14, 1993
- Plot: Elaine and Jerry have to organize a bris.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Debra Mooney as Mrs. Sweedler
- Foods eaten: A slice of white bread, cereal
- Nothings of interest: Jerry has never seen an uncircumcised penis. The last episode where the audience was allowed to applaud Michael Richard’s entrance. Jason Alexander hates this episode.
- Death Watch: A jumper
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: D. Nothing in this episode works. Nothing.

Episode 6: “The Lip Reader” (70th episode overall)
- Original air date: October 28, 1993
- Plot: George and Jerry use Laura to read lips at a party.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Marlee Matlin as Laura, Lisa Kash as Gwen
- Foods eaten: A giant sundae. Minute Maid juice box. Orange-banana juice out of the carton. A banana
- Nothings of interest: Kramer “knows” ASL.Characters excuses/lies: Elaine says she’s going deaf so she doesn’t have to talk to her driver.
- Significant others:
  -George: Gwen
  -Jerry: Laura
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: B

Episode 7: “The Non-Fat Yogurt” (71st episode overall)
- Original air date: November 4, 1993
- Plot: Jerry and Elaine put on weight from a non-fat yogurt place.
- Characters Introduced: Lloyd Braun (he’ll be recast soon).
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Rudy Giuliani as himself, Maryedith Burrell as Maryedith
- Foods eaten: Frozen yogurt (Cappuccino, coffee, blueberry)
- Characters excuses/lies: George says he injured his arm on a desk.
- Significant others:
  -Elaine: Lloyd Braun
  -Kramer: Cheryl
- My grade: B

Episode 8: “The Barber” (72nd episode overall)
- Original air date: November 11, 1993
- Plot: George doesn’t know if he was hired at a new job. Jerry cheats on his long-time barber. Elaine has a bachelor auction.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Michael Fairman as Mr. Pensky
- Notable locations: The first time we see Jerry’s bathroom from the inside.
- Nothings of interest: The usual slap-bass music throughout the episode is replaced with music from The Barber of Seville. The Pensky File is introduced. Kramer only has his GED.
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: D+

Episode 9: “The Masseuse” (73rd episode overall)
- Original air date: November 18, 1993
- Plot: Jerry’s girlfriend is a masseuse but refuses to give him a massage.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Jennifer Coolidge as Jodi , Lisa Edelstein is back as Karen, Anthony Cistaro as Joel Rifkin, Lisa Pescia as Lisa (but she’ll be back 3 more times as Joanne)
- Notable locations: Back to the Chinese restaurant from season 1.
- Foods eaten: Grapes.
- Kramer’s mooched items: Paper towels.
- Nothings of interest: Jerry claims he hasn’t vomited in 13 years (since 6/29/80). Elaine wants her boyfriend to change his name from Joel Rifkin (also the name of a famous NYC serial killer) and ironically she suggests O.J. (after Simpson). This was nine-months before he killed 2 people. Elaine doesn’t like the name “Alex” because she knew a guy who would make annoying “tasty” noises after every sip of coffee.
- Significant others:
  -Elaine: Joel Rifkin
  –George: Karen “Risotto”
  –Jerry: Jodi
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: B

Episode 10: “The Cigar Store Indian” (74th episode overall)
- Original air date: December 9, 1993
- Plot: Jerry is deemed a racist when he purchases a cigar store Indian. George gets grounded by his parents.
- Characters Introduced: Lisa Prescia as Joanne
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Sam Lloyd as Ricky, Al Roker as himself, Ralph Manza as Gepetto.
- Recurring gags: The introduction of Kramer’s “coffee table book” idea.
- Foods eaten: Prune juice in wine glasses.
- Kramer’s mooched items: The Cigar Store Indian
- Nothings of interest: The Costanza’s live at 1344 Queens Blvd in Flushing.
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: B

Episode 11: “The Conversion” (75th episode overall)
- Original air date: December 16, 1993
- Plot: George converts to Latvian Orthodox for a woman. Jerry is concerned why girlfriend needs fungal cream.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Kay E. Kuter as Older Priest, Molly Hagan as Sister Roberta, Tom Verica as Doctor, Jean Marie Hupp as Sasha
- Foods eaten: Cold $25 lobster. Pumpkin pie. Chocolate cake.
- Kramer scheme: Bathe in vinegar to get rid of The Kavorka.
- Nothings of interest: Jerry said George once got into podiatry school.
- Flubs: Tawni is subletting apt 5E from Carol (?) which previously they stated was Newman’s apartment number.
- Significant others:
  -Elaine: “The podiatrist”
  –George: Sasha
  –Jerry: Tawni
  -Kramer: Sister Roberta
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: B-

Episode 12: “The Stall” (76th episode overall)
Original air date: January 6, 1994
- Plot: Elaine runs out of TP at the movies. Jerry thinks his girlfriend is a phone sex operator. George has a man-crush on Elaine’s boyfriend.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Jami Gertz as Jane, Dan Cortese as Tony
- Recurring gags: Jerry references finally getting a massage from his girlfriend.
- Notable locations: Monk’s bathroom.
- Foods eaten: A lot of gum.
- Kramer’s mooched items: Jerry’s bedroom phone to call a sex hotline.
- Kramer scheme: Uses the alias “Andre” when he calls the 976 number to mess with the phone sex woman.
- Nothings of interest: The first time seeing Jerry use his computers. “Mimbo” term is introduced.
- Characters excuses/lies: Jerry claims that Jane eats too much gum because “she has to be different”.
- Significant others:
  -Elaine: Tony
  -George: Tony (in his head)
  -Jerry: Jane
- Death Watch: Tony, almost.
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: A-

Episode 13: “The Dinner Party” (77th episode overall)
- Original air date: February 3, 1994
- Plot: Everyone gets waylaid on the way to a dinner party.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Kathryn Kates as Counter woman, Mark Holton as David
- Recurring gags: Jerry’s vomit streak is broken.
- Foods eaten: Black & White cookie, Clark Bar
- Kramer’s mooched items: He makes George pay for a $12 bottle of wine, a newspaper, and a Penthouse Forum.
- Nothings of interest: George gets a Gore-Tex coat. George says he doesn’t drink wine, he only drinks Pepsi. Jerry thinks holding a bakery box is effeminate. George says he’s scared of Elaine.
- Flubs: While driving they mention driving past a funeral procession (they aren’t)
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: B

Episode 14: “The Marine Biologist” (78th episode overall)
- Original air date: February 10, 1994
- Plot: Elaine gets a new account at work. George has to pretend he’s a marine biologist to get a date.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Carol Kane as Corinne
- Kramer scheme: Golfing into the ocean
- Nothings of interest: We are introduced to “Golden Boy” Jerry’s favorite t-shirt that he’s had for six years. George is a huge whale fan. Corinne gets hit in the head twice; Newman once. Kramer has a framed head shot of Jerry in his foyer.
- Fake ~~movie~~ book titles: Jerry says Tolstoy’s original title was War, What is it Good For?
- Characters excuses/lies: Jerry says George is a marine biologist specialising in cholesterol. George says he was living with the turtles in the Galapagos.
- Flubs: Elaine says Testikoff is in room 308 but his door says 507.
- Significant others:
  –George: Diane DeCarn
- Death Watch: Golden Boy, a whale
- Stand-up routines: 1 (instead of a stand-up at the end we get a bumper in the diner. This continues occasionally throughout the series.)
- My grade: B+
- Seinfimation: George & The Whale

Episode 15: “The Pie” (79th episode overall)
- Original air date: February 17, 1994
- Plot: Jerry is obsessed with finding out why his girlfriend won’t eat a piece of pie. Kramer finds a mannequin that looks like Elaine. George is trying to get a discount suit.
- Characters Introduced: Reni Santoni as Poppie
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Christine Dunford as Saleswoman, Lane Davies as Mackenzie, Sam Lloyd is back as Ricky, Paul Matee as Health Inspector, Patricia Belcher as Woman #1
- Notable locations: Poppie’s.
- Foods eaten: Apple pie. Cereal. Not pizza.
- Kramer’s mooched items: Spatula
- Kramer scheme: He dates a woman because she scratches his back.
- Nothings of interest: George is a 40 Short in a suit. Elaine once dumped a guy for not offering her dessert. Jerry was originally supposed to say “Poppie’s hands are poopy.” but they changed it to “Poppie’s a bit sloppy.”
- Characters excuses/lies: Elaine says Jerry is her lawyer. Kramer says he’s dating Elaine (mannequin).
- Significant others:
  -Jerry: Audrey
  -Kramer: Olive, Elaine Mannequin
- Stand-up routines: 1
- My grade: B

Episode 16: “The Stand In” (80th episode overall)
- Original air date: February 24, 1994
- Plot: Kramer is a stand-in. George dates a woman out of spite. Jerry can’t cheer up a sick friend.
- Characters Introduced: Danny Woodburn as Mickey Abbott
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: W. Earl Brown as Al, Tom Dekker as Porter, Debbie Lee Carrington as Tammy,
- Kramer scheme: He gets Mickey to wear lifts to appear taller.
- Nothings of Interest: First time they say “meh” as introductions on the intercom to be let up.
- Characters excuses/lies: George says he is going on a father-son picnic to get out of a date.
- Flubs: Jerry and Mickey are stand-ins at All My Children but AMC is filmed in Los Angeles, not NYC.
- Significant others:
  –Elaine: Phil Totta
  –George: Daphne Bauer
- Death Watch: Fulton
- Stand-up routines: 1
- My grade: C

Episode 17: “The Wife” (81st episode overall)
- Original air date: March 17, 1994
- Plot: Jerry pretends to be married. George pees in the shower at the gym. Kramer accidentally does black face.
- Characters Introduced: Lawrence A. Mandley as Larry, the new owner of Monk’s Cafe
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Courtney Cox as Meryl,
- Foods eaten: Pancakes and orange juice.
- Kramer’s mooched items: Can opener
- Kramer scheme: He gets to Jerry to take his quilt to the dry cleaners for a 25% discount
- Nothings of interest: Jerry pours two glasses of OJ then immediately leaves to get breakfast. Monk’s new owner does not allow any outside syrups, jams, or condiments. Uncle Leo loves Jerry’s penmanship. They dubbed the voice of Paula because they wanted her to be more exotic sounding.
- Characters excuses/lies: Jerry pretends Meryl is his wife.
- Significant others:
  -Elaine: Greg – maybe?
  –Jerry: Meryl. Paula.
  –Kramer: Anna
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: A-

Episodes 18/19: “The Raincoats” (82nd/83rd episodes overall)
- Original air date: April 28, 1994
- Plot: George is hornswoggled into being a Big Brother. The Seinfelds can’t stand the Costanzas. George inadvertently introduced clothing moths to a resale shop. Jerry makes out during Schindler’s List which offends Newman.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Judge Reinhold as Aaron the close-talker, Sandy Baron returns as Jack Klompus, Mike Hagerty as Rudy,
- Foods eaten: Scrambled eggs, a sandwich
- Kramer’s mooched items: Estelle’s hand lotion.
- Kramer scheme: Selling used clothes to Rudy’s resale.
- Nothings of interest: Mort Seinfeld invented “The Executive”, the beltless trench coat.
- Characters excuses/lies: George says he’s going to Paris to get out of Big Brothers/Big Sisters then says his father died to sell some of his father’s old clothes.
- Significant others:
  -Elaine: Aaron
  -Jerry: Rachel
- Stand-up routines: 3
- My grade: C+

Episode 20: “The Fire” (84th episode overall)
- Original air date: May 5, 1994
- Plot: Elaine is assigned as editor to Kramer’s Coffee Table Book. Her co-worker heckles Jerry. George thinks there is a fire at a kid’s birthday party.
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Jon Favreau as Eric the clown, Veanne Cox as Toby, Patience Cleveland as Robin’s mom
- Recurring gags: Kramer’s coffee table book
- Nothings of interest: Kramer stores the severed toe in a box of Cracker Jack in a deleted scene.
- Disrespecting authority: George chastises a fireman.
- Characters excuses/lies: George says he was “leading the way” when he shoved the kids and old women to the ground.
- Significant others:
  -George: Robin
  -Kramer: Toby
- Death Watch: Almost 25 kids and 2 old ladies. A pinky toe.
- Stand-up routines: 2 (plus two sets in the show as plot)
- My grade: A- (mostly for Kramer’s monologue about the bus incident.)
- Seinimation: Pinky Toes Wild Ride

Episode 21: “The Hamptons” (85th episode overall)
- Original air date: May 12, 1994
- Plot: They all go to the Hamptons to see an ugly baby.
- Characters Introduced: Lisa Mende as Carol
- Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Richard Bergi as Ben Pfeffer, Mark L. Taylor as Michael, Melanie Smith is back as Rachel, Melora Walters as Jane
- Notable locations: The Hamptons, baby!
- Foods eaten: Lobsters, eggs
- Kramer’s mooched items: Lobsters from a commercial trap
- Nothings of interest: This episode is credited for introducing the term and concept of “shrinkage”. George says he loves cough medicine
- Disrespecting authority:
- Characters excuses/lies: George says he was looking for gum when he burst in on Rachel and Jerry.
- Significant others:
  -George: Jane
  -Jerry: Rachel
- Death Watch: Several lobsters
- Stand-up routines: 2
- My grade: A (JL-D’s in top form here but George is skeevy)

Episode 22: “The Opposite” (86th episode overall)
Original air date: May 19, 1994
Plot: George decides to do the opposite of his instincts. Kramer’s book is published.
Characters Introduced: George Steinbrenner
Guest Stars/Notable Characters: Siobhan Fallon Hogan is back as Tina, Marty Rackham is back at Jake Jarmel, Deedee Pfeiffer as Victoria, Paul Gleason as Cushman, French Stewart as theater Manager, Regis Philbin and Kathie Lee Gifford as themselves
Recurring gags: Puffy shirt reference.
Foods eaten: Champagne, oatmeal, Jujyfruits,
Nothings of interest: Elaine is promoted. George gets a new job and apartment. Elaine loses her apartment.
Significant others:
-Elaine: Jake Jarmel
-George: Victoria
-Jerry: Rachel
Stand-up routines: 2
My grade: B